I have started the process of saying good bye to my “girls”. A process that has been uniquely empowering. You see my “girls” have been a part of me for about 40 years, give or take. Even though at times my relationship with them has been rocky I still am very attached to them. However, the time has come to say good bye, to end the relationship so I can begin the next phase of my life.
You see these “girls” are not my daughters, these girls are my breasts. Saying good bye to my “girls” is saying good bye to a very huge part of my self and not just because they are connected to me. It is actually my choice to detach from them. My strong family history, my BRAC gene and many other changes have contributed to choosing this pathway, a path that has been interesting to say the least.
One of my clients is experiencing the same event. Last night while coaching her, she discovered that she needed to say good bye to her “girls”. She is going through the grief of losing her two “girls” that she has been attached to for many years. When she says good bye to human friends she usually communicates heartfelt thoughts and feelings as well as write a letter. She decided to do the same with her “girls”. I thought this was a beautiful way to honor her relationship with them, so I decided to do the same.
So here we go.
My “girls” started out with a constant plea for them to arrive, you see I developed late. It seemed that every girl around me had “girls” way before me. Many a night I would plead and bargain for them to make an appearance. I wanted to discard my undershirts and wear the pretty bras with the pink or blue bow. Finally the day came and my mom took me to Deb-N-Air, a local children’s clothing store to buy bras. I was thrilled.
My relationship with my “girls” was still very rough. Although I was developing, it wasn’t fast enough.To help them along I stuffed tissues into my bra. I distinctly remember the tissues falling out while changing for gym class. I was seriously embarrassed. Who was I fooling?
The “girls” had minds of their own. I wanted them to be bigger. They decided they had enough after being an “A” cup. I was very unhappy, they were quite content. I was constantly comparing my “girls” to other “girls”. Finally, after many years I became comfortable with them and myself.
My “girls” grew when I had my children. I finally got my wish for bigger “girls”. Of course it didn’t last, afterward they reverted with a lot less lift. So much for bigger “girls”.
The “girls” have been through training bras, padded bras, underwire bras, strapless bras, bras that make you lift and separate, bathing suit tops, tube tops, tank tops and every shirt and dress imaginable. They have been through emotional distress, boyfriends, husbands, two babies, self exams, doctor exams, biopsy, mammograms, ultrasounds and CAT scans.
My “girls” and I have been through many things over the years, some good, some bad. I have changed and they have too. This is why I decided that my relationship with them needed to change. They are very attached to me as I to them. So I am saying good bye and honoring them to let them know that I am acknowledging them for sticking with me, for being constant friends and that I will miss them.
Soon, I will begin a relationship with my new “girls”. If my old “girls” only new what the new “girls” will look like they would be pink with envy, so I won’t tell them. My new “girls” will transition me into the next phase of my life, a life that is healthier and worry-free. My new “girls” will take the place of my old “girls”, not just to replace them but to honor them. They will honor them for a job well done. So, with sadness, a little bit of fear, and a whole lot of love I say good by “girls”. Thank you for the many years and now I give myself and you, permission to be retired.